I spend a lot of time staring at a screen. A lot of time. And I’ve just now realized that half of the stuff that I’m doing while staring at the screen benefits me in no way; I am literally just watching it to pass time because I a) can’t think of anything else to do, b) am procrastinating, or c) can think of something productive to do but am too lazy to do it. It doesn’t seem like a big deal at the time, but looking at my life these last few years I kind of want to roundhouse kick myself in the face. What’s the point? If I were to die tomorrow I definitely don’t want to look back and think, “Boy am I glad I spent my last night on earth watching reality TV and making my butt imprint on the couch even deeper!”.
I get overwhelmingly sad and kind of panicky when I think about how some of the things I get a lot of joy from are a massive waste of time and that I shouldn’t be doing them. I’m talking things like watching shows I actually love and am invested in (Sherlock, Dr. Who, Merlin, etc.), browsing for cosplay tutorials, blogging, catching up on what my friends and favourite celebrities are doing that day. I mean, being excessively passionate about fictional worlds is what I do best. In fact, it’s probably a huge part of what my friends would think of if they were asked to describe me. I went through a phase where I thought I should give these things up but I realized that would erase a portion of my identity and I know that would not benefit me.
What I do need to kick off of my routine is the stupid stuff that I don’t even know why I do. Prime example: I just finished watching Project Runway and am halfway through the current season of America’s Next Top Model. Those shows are beyond pointless and I have no idea why I feel inclined to watch them…but I do! Also, I spend so much time watching beauty gurus on YouTube. Why? I DON’T EVEN LIKE MAKEUP. YouTube in general is a massive time sucker. I could watch five Primark hauls in a row easily…there is no Primark on my continent. WHY.
So I’m definitely going to keep watching my shows that I actually love, but all the other pointless, stupid shtuff has got to go. There’s so much more I want to do…So now I’m going to try and motivate myself, and I really hope it works. Posting it here might make it a bit more like an actual pact with myself. And maybe if you’re in the same boat as me you can benefit from this as well. So listen up me – when you need something to do:
–Don’t open your laptop..
-Do more exploring
-Do more creating
-Do more writing
-Do more reading
-Do more praying
-Do more socializing (I know it sucks sometimes, just do it ya bum)
-Do more experimenting
-Do more ‘tea time on the fire escape’
-Do more riding
-Do more volunteering
-Do more schoolwork (in a timely fashion)
-Do more cooking
-Do more adventuring with your roommate
-Do more sewing
-Do more blogging
-Do more catching up with high school friends
-Do more photography
-Do more chats with the two people who brought you into this world
-Do more exercising
-Do more nothing: sitting and thinking is far better than turning your brain off
-Do more watching: people watching, puppy watching, sunset watching…
-And, for the love of Pete, GO OUTSIDE. Something great always happens.
P.S. I know it’s ironic that I was looking at a screen while writing this post…just go with it.